Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
