we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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