hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
