I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
