Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
