You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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