Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
my god I love twenty year old dicks
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
