Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
