fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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