And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
