I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
