apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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