...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
