She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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