I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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