Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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