there was a trapeze. enough said
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
