i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
