i barfeds in our rink
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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