Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
