Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
