They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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