what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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