I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
