That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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