I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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