You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
