11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
