The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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