ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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