If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
