did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Randomize
