I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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