Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
