Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
