I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
