I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
