where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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