I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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