I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
