My nipple is on Facebook.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Couch. On fire.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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