is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Michael Bay diarrhea
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
