I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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