I'd wear matching sweaters with you
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
