Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
