I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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