I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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