Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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