just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
