i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
