I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
