WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
