You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
