Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
