I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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